Your nervous system can stay locked in fight-or-flight long after a stressful season ends. When that happens, your stress hormones keep firing, your adrenals and thyroid work overtime, and the rest of your hormones can start riding a roller coaster.
In my conversation with Dr. Sue Morter, bioenergetic medicine expert and author of The Energy Codes and The Anatomy of Awakening, she shares two simple places to start. Breathe low into your belly. Then practice calling your energy back to yourself.
In this article
- Why your body can stay stuck in fight or flight
- How chronic stress ripples through your hormones
- How to feel a feeling without dumping it on someone
Why your body can stay stuck in fight or flight
You're not in danger right now. You're reading this at the kitchen counter, or in the car line, or at 2am because sleep won't come.
So why does your body feel like it's bracing for impact?
Dr. Sue explained it with a bear. Years ago, something overwhelming happened. A divorce. A job loss. A season where you held everything together for everyone. Your body did exactly what it was built to do and flipped into fight or flight.
The bear left. Your nervous system never got the message.
She describes a trap door between two areas of the brain. The thalamus is the relay station for everything your five senses take in. The hypothalamus is the command center that talks to your hormones.
When stress is big enough, that door can slam shut, and the last message through was "emergency."
In her words, the body is "doing the right thing, but it's doing it at the wrong time."
Your body isn't failing you, Gorgeous. It's following old orders.
How chronic stress ripples through your hormones
When your body believes the bear is still there, your adrenal glands keep pumping out adrenaline and cortisol, your stress-and-storage hormone. Over time, they tire. Dr. Sue describes your thyroid, your metabolism thermostat, stepping in to pick up the slack. It isn't built to carry that load for long either.
Then the whole hormonal system starts to roller-coaster.
When I trained in OB/GYN at Emory, symptom care was the default. PMS got an antidepressant. Irregular bleeding got a different birth control pill, then a procedure. Nobody asked what set the whole cascade in motion.
That's why I say it takes more than hormones to fix your hormones.
Dr. Sue adds one more piece I love. Your body works on a priority basis. Survival always comes first. Repair, detox, and renewal wait in line until your body believes it's safe. So the first job is helping your nervous system hear that the coast is clear.
Step one: the wise belly breath
In emergency mode, you hold your breath or breathe high and shallow in your chest. Most of us do it all day without noticing.
Dr. Sue's first step is so simple your mind will want to skip it. Breathe low, into your belly.
Here's her reasoning. Breathing into the lower part of your lungs engages the parasympathetic side of your nervous system, the "rest and restore" side that calms you once the bear is gone. It also brings oxygen into the most blood-rich part of your lungs.
Then there's your vagus nerve, the long nerve running from your brain to your belly that helps regulate heart rate, breath, and digestion. Most of its fibers carry messages up to the brain. When it senses ease, it helps tell your whole system that all is well.
Dr. Sue also shared the Eastern view that wisdom lives below the navel. Breathing high in your chest is about action. Breathing belly first, then letting the breath rise into your chest, is what she calls "actioning wisdom."
I told her I love having a wise belly. I meant it.
Try it right now. Place one hand on your belly. Breathe in slowly and let your belly rise first. Let the breath keep filling up into your chest. Exhale slowly. Practice it in the in-between moments, at red lights or while the coffee brews, so it feels familiar when stress hits.
Step two: call your energy back
Picture the doorway of the room you're in. Now imagine the person who gets under your skin walking through it.
Notice what happens. Dr. Sue describes your energy rushing out of your own body and onto that person. You feel flushed. Empty. Depleted.
Her practice is called pratyahara, a Sanskrit word for drawing your senses back onto yourself. It doesn't mean shutting someone out. She compares it to an accordion folding back in. You stay in the conversation. You just stop handing over your power.
She teaches it as subject, object, subject. Keep your energy on yourself (subject) rather than throwing it onto someone else (object).
I asked her what to do if you're the one who triggers someone. Same practice. Stay in your core, breathe in your belly, and open your heart. Your steadiness can help their system settle too.
Wise belly, open heart. That's the whole practice in four words.
How to feel a feeling without dumping it on someone
Here's where I pushed back. Releasing anger doesn't feel safe to a lot of women I talk with. So what does it mean?
Dr. Sue was clear. Dumping it on someone else only moves the chess pieces around.
Instead, she teaches you to work with the energy rather than the label or the story. Anger, anxiety, and sadness all show up as sensations in your body. Notice where. Breathe with them. You don't have to understand why something happened to start softening its grip.
She compares moving energy through the body to a giant washing machine. Once it's cycling again, old experiences can look different through a new filter.
If you're carrying deep trauma, please do this work with a qualified professional by your side.
When meditation feels impossible
My confession. I've sat to meditate in India and felt nothing. No heat. No flow. Just my to-do list.
Dr. Sue said that's exactly where she started. Her approach is to build the circuits first so stillness becomes possible. Her "take it to the body" practices in The Anatomy of Awakening start with one question. Where in my body could I bring more loving attention and breath today?
Where to learn more from Dr. Sue
Dr. Sue's books, The Energy Codes and The Anatomy of Awakening, are available wherever books are sold. You'll find her courses and classes at https://drsuemorter.com/
My favorite hormone will always be oxytocin, the hormone of love and connection. You have enough to manage without managing your stress too. Tap into joy. Tap into connection. You are the CEO of your body, and the best years of your life are waiting for you.
Listen to my full conversation with Dr. Sue Morter on:
Youtube | Spotify | Apple Podcasts
FAQ
What does it mean to be stuck in fight or flight?
It means your nervous system is still reacting to a past stress as if it's happening now. Your body keeps releasing stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol even after the stressful event has passed.
How does chronic stress affect hormones in midlife?
Ongoing stress keeps your adrenals working hard. Over time, other parts of your hormone system, including your thyroid, can be pulled in to compensate, which may contribute to the ups and downs so many women feel in perimenopause and menopause.
What is a simple way to calm my nervous system?
Slow belly breathing is an easy place to start. Breathe in low so your belly rises first, let the breath rise into your chest, then exhale slowly. This helps engage the calming side of your nervous system.
What is the vagus nerve?
It's a long nerve connecting your brain to your heart, lungs, and digestive tract. It helps regulate heart rate, breathing, and digestion, and most of its signals travel upward to the brain.
What is pratyahara?
Pratyahara is a Sanskrit term for withdrawing the senses. Dr. Sue teaches it as a way to bring your attention and energy back to yourself during a triggering moment, without shutting the other person out.
Who is Dr. Sue Morter?
Dr. Sue Morter is a bioenergetic medicine expert, teacher, and author of The Energy Codes and The Anatomy of Awakening. She teaches through the Morter Institute.
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This article is for educational purposes and isn't a substitute for medical advice. Talk with your healthcare provider about your individual needs.
