I was driving to the studio the morning I recorded this episode, and one line kept looping in my head.
The mind is willing, but the body is hesitant.
Tell me if you've heard this before. You want to get down on the floor with your grandkids, lift your suitcase into the overhead bin, try the Pilates class your friend keeps raving about. And your shoulder says no. Your neck says no. Your hips stiffen before you've even stood up.
Or it shows up stranger than that. Your eyes swell for no reason. A rash blooms on your chin. Your mouth itches after a slice of melon you've eaten your whole life.
And somewhere along the way, someone told you this is just getting older, and to power through it.
I don't buy it.
My guest on this episode is Kiki Cordero-Drake, COO of EQ Flux Wave and founder of PEMFPilates™. Kiki is a Master Instructor in Pilates Sports Therapy and has been a Manual PEMF Practitioner since 2017. She has also lived the wired, swollen, reactive version of midlife herself, so she knows both sides of the table.
I first fell in love with PEMF in the horse world. One moment a horse is limping, and the next he's moving comfortably again. There's no placebo effect with a horse. ;)
Full disclosure, Girlfriend. Kiki and EQ Flux Wave sponsored my Vitality Experience because I trust them and I've watched this modality work.
In this article, you will learn
Why does your body stay stuck on high alert?
Your nervous system runs on two main settings. Your sympathetic side is the gas pedal, the fight or flight response that gets you out of danger. Your parasympathetic side is the brake, the rest and repair mode where your body heals.
When stress, pain, or an old injury keeps your foot on the gas for months or years, your body stays braced. Muscles guard. Breath gets shallow. Sleep gets thin. Everything feels more reactive.
Kiki put it perfectly. "Pain creates stress and stress creates pain." And then your body holds on to it.
She knows this one personally. Kiki dislocated her shoulder every year starting at age 10. At 15, playing goalie in a championship game because the regular keeper didn't show up, she saved a penalty kick and her shoulder dislocated for the last time. Four surgeries followed over four years, along with pain pills, muscle relaxers, and physical therapy that never stuck.
The part no one talked about was the fear. Kiki has never skied. Never water skied. Never done anything that might pull that arm out one more time. Her body learned to protect itself, and it never forgot.
Ironically, it was her hairdresser who suggested Pilates. Ten sessions later, she felt stronger than she had in years. That's how she found her life's work.
I relate to the braced feeling more than you'd think. I get so tense when I'm speaking on stage that my whole body locks up, and it stays that way long after I walk off. A lot of biohacks I try, I can't feel a thing. When Kiki worked on me after a conference talk, I could feel my body let go. Relaxed, at ease, at peace.
Resetting a sense of safety is foundational for me. I wouldn't be where I am without that practice.
Magnesium is one of the first things I reach for when my nervous system is running hot. A German OB/GYN first told me about it years ago. My Better Brain & Sleep pairs Magtein, a form of magnesium studied for its ability to reach the brain, with Albion chelated magnesium for the rest of your body. It supports stress management and sleep quality.*
What is histamine, and why can it flare in midlife?
Histamine is a chemical messenger your immune cells release when they sense a threat. It's the reason your eyes water around pollen and a mosquito bite itches. In the right amount, histamine protects you. When the system gets jumpy, it can show up as itching, flushing, hives, swelling, or congestion.
Shifting estrogen in perimenopause can be part of the picture, since estrogen and histamine tend to rise and fall together. But there's a deeper story, and Kiki lived it.
Around age 41, she was eating as clean as humanly possible. No dairy, no gluten, no alcohol, no sugar. Working out. Doing red light, sauna, every supplement. And her body kept getting bigger and more inflamed.
A practitioner of Korean Eight Constitution medicine looked at her and told her the foods she'd built her healthy routine around, sweet potatoes, hummus, beets, her morning turmeric latte, didn't suit her body at all. She cried in his office. She'd been doing everything "right."
That's also when she made sense of the itching. Melon made her mouth itch. Avocado made her ears itch.
Then her family got devastating news, and her body went into full alarm. Hives. Facial swelling. Eyes so puffy that people assumed she'd had bad filler. Wheezing. She saw doctor after doctor, took test after test, had a root canal and implants removed. Nothing changed.
It was a friend, a pharmacist who also practices functional medicine, who finally asked if anyone had looked at her mast cells, the immune cells that store and release histamine. No one had.
Two things from Kiki's story stay with me. Her labs kept showing dehydration even though she was drinking water all day, and the electrolyte she was using had too much citric acid for her body. Switching to minerals that suited her helped her hydrate. And when your nervous system is already in chaos, being handed 20 more tests can add to the stress instead of easing it.
Histamine is one of the most challenging areas in medicine, and it often takes detective work. If you have swelling of your lips, eyes, or face, or any trouble breathing, get medical care right away.
What is PEMF, in plain English?
PEMF stands for pulsed electromagnetic field. It's a device that sends gentle, pulsing energy signals into the body. Kiki pairs it with bodywork and movement, and she describes its first job as helping the nervous system shift out of high alert so tight muscles can let go.
Her own first session came in her mid-thirties. The morning after a gala she'd co-chaired, she woke up unable to turn her neck or lift her head off the pillow. Her chiropractor told her to try a new machine. "It's a little woo-woo. It works." Thirty minutes later, she was turning her head again.
She was one of the first practitioners in the country to use PEMF with her own hands as the conduit, connecting the device to herself and her client so the signal flows through her bodywork. Then her clients started telling her things that had nothing to do with their shoulders. One slept better. One stopped snapping at her kids. One said, "I think I like my husband more." ;)
That's when Kiki realized what she was looking at. Bodywork on the outside, nervous system regulation underneath.
The EQ Flux Wave device she uses runs on an alternating current with frequencies based on brainwave patterns, and it has five settings called Face, Circulation, Massage, Stimulate, and Restore. Attachments include a heated infrared wand, which Kiki uses to help clients shift into rest and repair, and a pelvic attachment you sit on externally. You can watch her full demo on YouTube.
At my Vitality Experience, Kiki worked with a woman who had been living with pain and stiffness for five years. Thirty minutes later, with tears in her eyes, she raised both arms over her head. "I know it doesn't look that different," she said. "But I can move. I can feel things."
Kiki's view is that relief like that is about more than muscles. Her body had been frozen in fight, flight, and freeze all at once, and what she needed most was to feel safe.
PEMF isn't for everyone. Talk with your doctor before trying it, especially if you have a pacemaker or other implanted device or you're pregnant. Experiences vary from woman to woman.
Why is fascia called the Cinderella organ?
I call fascia the Cinderella organ. It does all the work and never gets invited to the ball.
Fascia is the thin, web-like connective tissue that wraps every muscle, nerve, and organ in your body, a bit like a body stocking under your skin. With age and shifting hormones, it can tighten and lose its give. That tightness pulls on everything around it, from how fluid moves through your tissues to how freely your shoulder lifts.
This is why I keep saying it's never just one thing. Mindset, nutrition, movement, and lifestyle all play a part, and fascia is a piece nobody taught you to think about.
My favorite line from Kiki in this episode? "If you have a body, you're an athlete."
Not just pros on the field. You, getting out of bed, carrying groceries, playing with your grandkids.
I think of my friend Connie Kean, who has been on my show. She's in her seventies, and in the barre class I take with her, she does 30 real push-ups and holds a two-minute plank. I surround myself with women like Connie on purpose.
Joint aches are part of this same conversation. I break down more of them in menopause and joint pain.
What does your jaw have to do with your pelvic floor?
You sneeze, and you cross your legs first. You scope out the bathroom before you sit down anywhere. Leaking when you laugh starts to change what you're willing to do.
Here's the part almost nobody connects. According to Kiki, if your neck and shoulders are chronically tight, look at your jaw. And more often than not, a tight jaw means you should look at your pelvic floor too.
Stress changes how you breathe. When your diaphragm, the dome-shaped muscle under your lungs, stays tight, the pressure has to go somewhere, and it can throw off your pelvic floor and lower back.
So Kiki never works on the pelvic floor alone. In a session, she starts on the belly to calm the gut-brain connection. She checks the diaphragm and the abdominal muscles. Then she checks the adductors, your inner thigh muscles, which you probably skip at the gym. For clients at home, she suggests lightly squeezing a small Pilates ball while using the wand on the inner thigh. Only then do they move to the pelvic attachment for about 15 minutes.
She always asks one more question. Did you have a C-section or a hysterectomy? Even if it was 40 years ago, scar tissue there can change how your core and pelvic floor share the work.
The muscles are one layer of what changes down there. The skin is another. As estrogen shifts, intimate tissue loses moisture and gives, the same way fascia does. That's why I formulated Julva with DHEA, Alpine Rose stem cells, shea butter, and emu oil. It nourishes and moisturizes intimate skin and supports the appearance of soft, elastic, healthy-looking skin.*
Your next right step
Take an inventory today.
Where are you feeling limited? Where do you feel restricted in your body? What is your next right step?
Maybe it's a magnesium routine before bed. Maybe it's finally asking about that old C-section scar. Maybe it's ten minutes of breathing into your belly so your diaphragm remembers how to soften.
As Kiki says, "Healing is not one size fits all." And yes, you've got to do the work.
The best years of your life are not behind you. They are waiting for you.
Key moments from the episode
- 03:10 - Meet Kiki Cordero-Drake
- 03:40 - Four shoulder surgeries before 20, and the hairdresser who suggested Pilates
- 08:05 - When the histamine reactions started09:05 Eating "clean" and still inflamed
- 13:50 - Hives, swelling, and a body on high alert
- 18:15 - Hydration, minerals, and running on empty
- 23:35 - How PEMF came into Kiki's life
- 27:55 - Pain creates stress, stress creates pain
- 30:30 - Thirty minutes at the Vitality Experience
- 31:15 - Fascia, the Cinderella organ
- 38:45 - If you have a body, you're an athlete
- 41:30 - PEMF demo48:20 Your jaw, your breath, and your pelvic floor
- 51:55 - Why old C-section scars still matter
- 57:00 - How to work with Kiki and Sean
Listen on YouTube | Apple Podcast | Spotify
Frequently asked questions
What is PEMF?
PEMF stands for pulsed electromagnetic field. It's a device that sends gentle, pulsing energy signals into the body. Practitioners like Kiki Cordero-Drake pair it with bodywork and movement to help the nervous system shift out of fight or flight and into rest and repair. Talk with your doctor before trying it, especially if you have a pacemaker or other implanted device or are pregnant.
Can perimenopause or menopause affect histamine?
It can be part of the picture. Estrogen and histamine tend to rise and fall together, so the hormone swings of perimenopause may make histamine reactions like itching, flushing, or swelling more noticeable. Stress and a nervous system stuck on high alert can add to it. Any swelling of the lips, eyes, or face, or trouble breathing, needs medical care right away.
How do I know if my nervous system is stuck in fight or flight?
Common signs include muscles that always feel braced, shallow breathing, a clenched jaw, trouble sleeping, and feeling more reactive than usual, physically or emotionally. Kiki describes it simply. Pain creates stress, and stress creates pain.
What is fascia, and why does it tighten with age?
Fascia is the thin, web-like connective tissue that wraps every muscle, nerve, and organ. Dr. Anna calls it the Cinderella organ because it does so much work and gets so little attention. Aging, hormone shifts, stress, and old injuries can make it tighter and less flexible, which can affect how freely you move.
What does the jaw have to do with the pelvic floor?
Kiki sees a pattern in her practice. Chronic neck and shoulder tension often points to the jaw, and jaw tension often points to the pelvic floor. Stress changes how you breathe, and a tight diaphragm can throw off the balance of your pelvic floor and lower back. That's why she works on the belly, diaphragm, and inner thighs, not just the pelvic floor.
Who is Kiki Cordero-Drake?
Kiki Cordero-Drake is the COO of EQ Flux Wave and founder of PEMFPilates™. She is a Master Instructor in Pilates Sports Therapy, has worked in the field since 2007, and has been a Manual PEMF Practitioner since 2017.
Connect with Kiki
EQ Flux Wave (discount code DRANNA)
Connect with Dr. Anna
Know a girlfriend who's been told her aches are just part of getting older? Send her this episode, and leave a review so she can find the show too.
*These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.
This article is for educational purposes only and is not medical advice. Kiki Cordero-Drake is the COO of EQ Flux Wave, and EQ Flux Wave sponsored Dr. Anna's Vitality Experience. Individual experiences vary.
