Summer distractions, empty nest…loss of intimacy?

OK, anyone else having trouble keeping in their groove this summer?

Travel chaos

True, I was away from home for a month…

Ahh, yes, Barcelona!  

I just loved Barcelona, my coffee on the balcony in the morning, and wine at night, with the sun setting around 10 pm in the distance.

The lively sounds of music, chatter and camaraderie below… as I thought, “I may just go down and join them“…and sometimes we did but more often my internal chatter would say, “I still have to get Ava to bed and reading time means my bedtime as well and….”

Oh sorry, I digressed!

Now that I’m back…I feel very much in a state of distraction and dis-routine.

I think part of it, as a mom, a single working mom, is that summer means total turmoil in the schedule with the kids at home or not.

As a single mom there are times when they are with their father and that leaves emptiness in the house (sometimes welcome and sometimes not.)  Regardless, schedule is off or non-existent and there is really a different climate or feel to home.  There’s a flux from hectic to quiet.

It reminds me of my time as an obstetrician when our motto is “hurry up and wait!” In other words, rush, rush, rush, then pause, wait, have coffee, oh and then baby is ready to come!

And even worse than the feeling of chaos with my schedule and routine…is my medical knowledge that there is a definite physiological impact to my being off my routine…

Is this happening to YOU this summer?

Now don’t get me wrong. I love having my kids around to spend time with and love my quiet time. But there is a potentially stressful side effect when we’re not in our routine, as well. 

We need to take special care to focus on,

  • Eating nourishingly…(nothing will make you feel more “off” than when you truly are off your normal feed!)
    • try drinking enough water and
    • having a daily protein shake with MightyMaca® Plus
  • Getting enough oxytocin each day (for the record, driving 6 kids to the waterpark is not getting your daily oxytocin!)…learn more about how to balance your stress and conquer cortisol with this wonderful hormone!

Do at least one thing to nurture yourself each day

Maybe your one thing is your daily yoga session. Or perhaps your walk on that lovely trail near your home.

Me time

Maybe it is the morning cup of coffee out on your porch, letting the morning light hit your eyes to reset your healthiest circadian rhythm. Maybe it is working in your garden.  

We get the freedom to do these things, what a gift!

Nurturing yourself is so important to maintaining a healthy physiology.

Resentment can be the lack of self-care.

Focus on the feminine you, too

You may be running around with the kids, or traveling…or hosting a family visit…but don’t let your relationship fall off your priority list!

When we’re off our routine, our hormones may also be off (I know I immediately fall into an acidic state)…and we may in fact lose our libido. Or we may just be too distracted or overwhelmed to notice our mate giving us that flirtatious smile. This can happen so quietly we may not even be aware it is happening!

Don’t let it!

Re-awaken and prioritize the intimacy in your life, it’s always a good time. Listen to my CT interview with Olivia Bryant about ways to re-awaken your sexual body parts!

Ensure you build in couple’s time each week (and for the record, driving your visiting family to local historical sites is NOT couple’s time!). Even if you have to “schedule” a date-night, do it. If having the kids home for the summer completely exhausts you, swap babysitting/date night opportunities with friends. One week you get the respite with your significant other…the next week you babysit for your friends. Great solution!

Evaluate what may be making your heart hurt!

I know for me that this summer also has meant the last few weeks before my 18 year old daughter leaves for her freshman year of college. It has truly been on my mind.

Woman thinking

So much so, that I recently canceled my participation in a large meeting that my friend JJ Virgin was putting on. 200 of my top peers in the health space are going to be there! Such an amazing opportunity and hate to miss it.

But it coincided with my daughter’s move-in day at college! Sorry, but the idea of not being there to support my daughter really did make my heart hurt and tears flow.

What’s making YOUR heart hurt this summer?

Make sure you address it head-on and with love.

I’ve heard from so many of you saying you will be an empty-nester at the end of this summer.  While I still have my youngest at home, I really feel the gap this will leave for me but jokingly tell her:

I can’t wait to use your room for my study.”

Becoming an empty-nester truly impacts one’s routine! And so many women go into a breakdown mode, not really knowing what to do with themselves.  Be patient.  This is probably the first time in your life you’ve even had time for a breakdown LOL!  Resist the urge to fill up all your time with busyness.

Possibly, you do not know how to deal with being a couple versus a family, each day.

Share your thoughts on how YOU are maintaining YOUR routine (or creating a new one) this summer!

I’d love to hear from you, especially those of you who are going to be first time empty nesters.

How are you adjusting to being single, a couple, and not a family each day…do you perceive it is going to be a challenge or a blessing? What proactive steps are you taking to ensure it will be a blessing?

How are you focusing on your own self-care…your health, happiness…and your relationship! How are you addressing your hurt heart?

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Dr. Anna Cabeca

Dr. Anna Cabeca

Certified OB/GYN, Anti-Aging and Integrative Medicine expert and founder of The Girlfriend Doctor. During Dr. Anna’s health journey, she turned to research to create products to help thousands of women through menopause, hormones, and sexual health. She is the author of best-selling The Hormone Fix, and Keto-Green 16 and MenuPause.

Learn more about my scientific advisory board.