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    121: The Power Of Clean Eating & Dirty Sex w/ Lisa Davis

    Our previous sexual experiences, even traumas, don’t have to define our approach to sexuality as we get older. As Oprah says, trauma is an explanation, not an excuse.Lisa Davis, the author of Clean Eating, Dirty Sex, joins me today to talk about releasing past traumas through clean eating and self-love.

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    Lisa explains how we can be held back by our previous sexual experiences. She shares about a time when she was younger when she didn’t perceive herself as conventionally attractive to feeling more attractive in her later teenage years and becoming more promiscuous. For years, she felt that this was the only way she could share her sexuality and it hampered her adult relationships.

    When we’re holding ourselves back due to past trauma, we tend to lack a sense of ourselves. This can have a negative effect on our immune systems and mental health. Lisa shares how you can start the process of inner bonding, and indeed, why getting to this point is so important for us all.

    Lisa goes through some of the steps that you can take to relearn your approach to sexuality. From making the conscious decision that you’re taking responsibility for your feelings to opening up and talking about them more, every step towards acceptance and reframing helps. You can absolutely do the hard inner work on your own and use guidance from books like Clean Eating, Dirty Sex, and resources from Margaret Paul.

    How can you reconnect to your sense of self? Let me hear your thoughts in the comments on the episode page. If you have questions, email team@drannacabeca.com.

     

    In This Episode:

    • How we can be held back by previous sexual experiences
    • How a lack of sense of self can impact our immune system
    • Why you should strive for inner bonding
    • What steps you can take to relearn your approach to sexuality
    • How you can do the harder inner work on your own, using guidance from books

    Subscribe to Couch Talk w/ Dr. Anna Cabeca on Youtube

    Quotes:

    “Really developing that relationship with yourself. If you weren’t nurtured, if you were abused, if you were neglected, whatever the case is: you have to have that inner love for yourself.” (17:23)

    “You need to make a conscious decision that you want to take responsibility for your feelings and learn how you are causing your own anxiety, depression, guilt, and shame with your own thoughts and actions.” (23:31)

    “Trauma is an explanation, but it’s not an excuse. Move on, move forward. The act of forgiveness is self-love. Forgiveness does not mean reconciliation.” (27:25)

     

    Links

    Buy Clean Eating, Dirty Sex

    Find Lisa Davis Online

    Find Lisa Davis on  Facebook |Instagram |Twitter

     

    Transcript

    Lisa:
    There was an incident that happened at the party that just was like, "Oh my God, all the bad things you thought about yourself, everybody really does feel that way. It's not just me thinking people feel that way about me, but I really am just a joke." It was devastating and it led me into, once I developed and I was a late bloomer and I went from being like a skinny boy at 16 to 18 having an Elle Macpherson body, and they called her the bod, to getting lots of male attention and then using it in the wrong way because I thought, "Oh, I must not be that loser everybody said I was." And those things stick with you.

    Dr. Anna:
    Welcome back to Couch Talk an intimate place for intimate conversation, and today we definitely have that. I shared a secret that I haven't shared with my audience in, I don't remember sharing it with my audience. So maybe in my Sexual CPR program, but you know all about healthy sexuality, healthy feminine health, and also reconnecting with our own sexual energy so that we can have longevity in our marriages. We can have that intimate relationship that lasts a lifetime, right? There's way too much divorce from disconnection and intimacy's a really big part of it, but that's in and outside the bedroom, and we touch on these topics today that has created some of the barriers that keep us from fully experiencing our own self-love as well as love for others.

    Dr. Anna:
    Today my guest is Lisa Davis. She has a master's in public health and she is a well-known sex educator. She's been in broadcast for over two decades and has a master's degree in public health. She's a creator, host, and producer of the syndicated, It's Your Health radio, which is heard on NPR as well as the host producer of Talk Healthy Today and Talk Fitness Today. She is the author of Clean Eating, Dirty Sex, which again is nothing dirty about what she's talking about here. It's a really holistic book. She really talks about how food can improve our libido and be aphrodisiac as well as the lifestyle factors that also again, create these blockages to really experiencing this healthy sexuality.

    Dr. Anna:
    One thing I've really loved about my guest today is her vulnerability and sharing her experience, her story. And as I like to say, our past is our past and it stays in the past. We can remove any guilt, shame that surrounds it and moves forward with love, forgiveness, self-forgiveness, right, self-love that we've created, a really empowering future for ourselves and for others to live authentically and to no longer hide or disregard really critical parts of our own life.

    Dr. Anna:
    As you know, as a gynecologist and obstetrician integrative medicine and a sexual health expert for both men and women, part of my passion has been in my program, Sexual CPR, creating and reigniting love and intimacy in our life, as well as removing some of those barriers like with my Julva cream, the anti-aging cream for vulvar health, right? And that's critically important to use because, with hormonal changes, we can't do very much about them. And when we use these topical solutions that I created in Julva, these ingredients as a combination really work wonders to remove the barrier of discomfort with sex, loss of pleasure, accidental urinary leaks, and the dryness and the discomfort that goes with all of those things, right, but as we grow older and whatever age we're at this discussion of intimacy, openness and what are some of the things that are holding us back.

    Dr. Anna:
    In our conversation today with Lisa, she shares a bit of her 11-year-old story, her 11-year-old trauma. I share my 21-year-old story, 21-year-old trauma and how that definitely affects us. When our words and experiences in our youth can linger on as scars on our soul and unless we clear them. We break free of those chains, our lies, untruths that have been imprinted on us by maybe someone we love, we care about an experience that we've had, and so that we can restore our own sexual self-confidence, right? In a very holistic, beautiful, honoring way.

    Dr. Anna:
    We talk about her struggles with clean eating as well as her struggles with her sexual history. I mean seriously don't we all have struggles like this that we can relate with? So I'm bringing that up in this conversation, in our Couch Talk conversation, so that we can move past it. And one of the people she interviewed in her book Clean Eating, Dirty Sex is Margaret Paul and she shares the six steps to freedom so that we can address unhealed trauma and create this incredible inner bonding with ourselves and that we develop that healthy relationship with ourselves. So you've got to listen to this and check out the work from Lisa Davis. She's just fun, open, honest conversation, great book. I really do believe it should be in everyone's bookshelf. But let's get started and let's listen in to our conversation with Lisa.

    Dr. Anna:
    Welcome, Lisa. It is great to have you here on Couch Talk. We call this the intimate place for intimate conversation and we are going to dig into it today.

    Lisa:
    Well, I'm really excited to be here, Dr. Cabeca. Thank you so much.

    Dr. Anna:
    I love it. And I love your new book and I want you to tell us about it and also the play on words for your title.

    Lisa:
    Well, thank you. So I happen to have it right here.

    Dr. Anna:
    I won't judge.

    Lisa:
    So it is called Clean Eating, Dirty Sex, Sensual Superfoods and Aphrodisiac Practices for Ultimate Sexual Health and Connection. First thing I love of good pun. Blame my family it's the way I was raised and I wanted something with clean eating and I wanted something with sex and I like the play words of clean and dirty. The problem is some people will read the title and it's like, "Oh I'm not into dirty sex." I'm like, "There's nothing dirty in the book." The best response is when people just laugh because they get it right?

    Lisa:
    They get that, okay this is a book that's going to help your sexual health and it's going to help your overall health as well. And so that's what's fun. But I have a funny story, my friend of mine, she couldn't find her 11-year-old daughter and she was looking around for and see hears some rustling in the closet and she goes and opens the closet. Her daughter's there with a book with the flashlight and she goes, "Mom, this is just a health book." That just made my day. So, so funny. I mean there is some stuff on sexual health in there, but I still ... She was pretty disappointed.

    Dr. Anna:
    Oh, man. No, you are real in the book. You tell your story, your 11-year-old story, right?

    Lisa:
    Yes.

    Dr. Anna:
    You tell the trauma, the imprints or the words that are written on our hearts, on our souls sometimes, at a young age that will keep us from acknowledging our sexuality or lead us astray in our own sexuality and our concept of intimacy and what it means to be completely feminine and sensual and beautiful as a woman. And that, really your story right at the beginning of the book really just touched my heart because I now have an 11-year-old turning 12-year-old. Right? And I have four daughters.

    Lisa:
    It's a hard age.

    Dr. Anna:
    I feel like, gosh, she should know everything, but there are certain things, right, we can't control what other people may say to her. And that's really powerful. So I want you to share just a little bit of that story or about how when we are as adults, even in our 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s, it doesn't matter how old we are, we can be held back by some of those scars, untruths that-

    Lisa:
    Oh definitely.

    Dr. Anna:
    We have experienced or have been words we've heard, right? We know the power of the word is really, really powerful. And so these things that have been written on our hearts and from working with as you have so many women with sexual health issues, they're often blockages from our childhood. I love that you brought that up in complete transparency, authenticity and it was really, really beautiful how you write.

    Lisa:
    I want to thank you so much and that was really important to me because I thought, if I can't share my own experiences, the book's not going to be as rich and as interesting and get people to ask the kind of questions that you're asking. I don't want to give away exactly what happened because I really want people to read the story. There's basically just, I already felt like a loser. I grew up feeling like a loser. I was skinny, I was awkward. I was the last girl picked in the gym. I had a few really close friends, but I just feel like people didn't really get me. And then my home life was tough. My mom was chronically ill and I didn't go into that a lot. I touched on that in the book, but I didn't really go into how hard it was and so I really felt I wasn't really happy at home. I wasn't happy out in the world and I was never invited to a boy-girl birthday party ever until my friend Shelly Budae invited me.

    Lisa:
    I remember, and I put this in the book and I swear it was like it was yesterday. I remember looking in a mirror and thinking I look good. I had my brown and orange collared shirt on because it was the late seventies and I had my hair feathered and my hair was not meant to be feathered. It was like really frizzy and it took a lot to like get it feathered. And I remember feeling good. And then there was an incident that happened at the party that just was like, "Oh my God, all the bad things you thought about yourself. Everybody really does feel that way. It's not just me thinking people feel that way about me, but I really am just a joke." It was devastating. And it led me into, once I developed and I was a late bloomer and I went from being like a skinny boy at 16 to 18 having an Elle Macpherson body, and they called her the bod, to getting lots of male attention and then using it in the wrong way because I thought, "Oh, I must not be that loser everybody said I was." And those and those things stick with you.

    Dr. Anna:
    Well, and I think you say it so well and honestly in the book and you're like, "Well, I was seeking these outside attentions to feed this gap or this insecurity in my own soul." Right? This lack of sense of self. That is rampant in today's culture with the perfect social profiles, right? The perfect images and again, from being a gynecologist working with all levels, celebrities, experts, et cetera, I mean, everyone has these insecurities in so many ways or can have them and that can hold us back. I think that's really, really powerful.

    Dr. Anna:
    One of our mutual friends, Dr. Keesha Ewers talks about this in great detail and how it really affects our immune system. And in many ways this lack of sense of self, right, allows invaders, and mental invaders are some of the worst. And I coach online programs, I work with women and often I hear these beautiful, talented, accomplished women will say, "I feel like I don't deserve that." At any age, we can be dealing with this. And of course, I'm especially tender with my, after reading your book too, with my 11-year-old, 12-year-old. Like I really need to revisit this. I think I've created these amazing confident women. But let me keep speaking into that and giving stories like the one you shared, I was going to share that with her. Because-

    Lisa:
    No, I would love that. Yeah.

    Dr. Anna:
    And it-

    Lisa:
    This means so much to me because I've heard people say, "I'm really touched that you shared this and I had you on the show because you know you shared this and it made your book different than a lot of books out there." But it's so nice to hear about that with your own daughter because I've shared ... My daughter's 15 and I've shared this story with her and she was just so sweet. She's like, "Oh mom." She's just, but she's different and quirky and she has her own struggles, but it helps to know that I've been there too and she can always talk to me about them and-

    Dr. Anna:
    I love it.

    Lisa:
    Yeah, it opens up the door. So.

    Dr. Anna:
    Yeah, I would say our uniqueness creates us and my daughter, or my other child, well she's now 20 but when she was 13, 14 she came home from school one day and she said, "Mom, I'm just not like anyone else." I'm like, "Thank God." [crosstalk 00:12:20] Yes. I'm just not like anyone else. So she's taking her third year of college, then spending a year in [inaudible 00:12:27] again. I'm like, if you were like everyone else, you'd be at the community college right here in Southeast Georgia. So be very glad how this panned out.

    Lisa:
    Exactly.

    Dr. Anna:
    Let's dig into this dirty sex issue because I have a program called Sexual CPR. It's a really holistic, really I say, God-centered program to enhance our feminine energy our sexuality, because of these things, words from our past experiences, self-talk, self-doubt, self-recrimination based on mistakes or bad judgment, and we've all had it. I'll raise my hand on that one. Especially if we've had trauma, sexual assault, sexual abuse, date rape, and all of those things create a rebound in many, many ways and expose us to some emotional trauma that we have to deal with at any age. At any age. So I think it's really cool to have fun with that. I loved when I saw your title Clean Eating, Dirty Sex. I'm like, "Oh yes." I know it's about food and health and all this good stuff. But you write these real stories about our sexual health and our sexual self-confidence, I would say that more.

    Lisa:
    Oh, I like that.

    Dr. Anna:
    Sexual self-confidence and you tap into that in many different areas. Like how do I get my sexual self-confidence back and what are the things I need to do from my lifestyle perspective? What do I need to do from my communication perspective? And the concept of like, what's dirty about sex? You know with the person you love and an intimate relationship and there's no holding back so you can continue that intimacy post-menopause well into old age, have the sanctity of marriage, right? We have the longevity of marriage and quality, love and health. So Bravo.

    Lisa:
    Oh, thank you. I really enjoyed it. You know it's, I've been in this field for a long time, so for 20 years. I started on TV and then got into radio and podcasts and people will say, "Well why did you pick those topics?" And it's like, "Well I hadn't seen anything like this before where you have a memoir, plus a cookbook, plus a healthy lifestyle guide where I could reach out to a lot of experts that I've interviewed." And I also wanted to focus on two areas that I struggled with. I struggled with clean eating. I talk about hiding the Girl Scout cookies, and that's the whole reason I joined Girl Scouts. Geez, what is with the Girl Scouts, can't they take the trans fat out of the cookies? Come on it's 2020, but I digress. And then I struggle with having a healthy relationship with sex and not using it to gain attention. So I thought that was sort of interesting too and it made it make more sense of why I was sharing these types of stories.

    Dr. Anna:
    What's your favorite part of the book? What was your favorite part to write?

    Lisa:
    The memoir stories were my favorite part. I thought they were not only really candid, but I thought they were funny and I thought that ... People always say, "Oh, you're such a crack up." And I like to use my humor and use it in a way that's going to benefit people and help people and be able to tell a story. So even though there're sad moments, like I talked about, that thing that happened at the party, I think that the way I write it is engaging. I hope. I mean, I hope that came out to you. That was something that I really enjoyed.

    Lisa:
    I also enjoyed being able to take interviews that I've done with people and expand on them, add to them, and then put them into the book, and being able to have such an amazing array of experts to choose from, Dr. Lori Shemeck to Dave Asprey. There's too many to mention, but there's over 50. So it's a lot. In the fields of psychology, sexology, exercise physiology, nutrition, sexual health. There was a great therapist that I interviewed in California. She gave some great tips and I think that's why you can get so much from the book, and I tell people even if you're celibate, if you do the stuff with the fitness and the exercise and the communication with your partner, whether you're looking to have better sex or not, you'll probably end up having better sex, but you're also going to just have better overall health.

    Dr. Anna:
    Well, it's a longevity diet for sure, and it's a longevity approach plus feeding in the intimacy. So one of the big things that I would say the most important hormone in our body that trumps any other hormone is oxytocin, the hormone of love, bonding, and connection. Sexual or not sexual, right? There's that sense of intimacy, community, connection, relationships are the most vitally important thing to us. And with that, one of my favorite parts of your book is this inner bonding chapter that you wrote and the six steps to freedom. Lisa, this is so good. This is so good.

    Lisa:
    Well, that's all Margaret Paul.

    Dr. Anna:
    That is so good.

    Lisa:
    Isn't she amazing?

    Dr. Anna:
    Yes.

    Lisa:
    She is such an inspiration. I learned about her from my sister several years ago and she said, "Lisa, you've got to read Margaret Paul's work. You've got to have her on your show." And I was just blown away. It's like really developing that relationship with yourself. When you weren't nurtured, if you were abused, if you were neglected, whatever the case is, you have to have that inner love for yourself and she takes you through these steps. And I think that something that was so important to me that I hadn't seen in other books around sexual health was unhealed trauma. And that's why I reached out to Margaret Paul because you can eat all the blueberries and do all the yoga and have a good eye, active listening and I messages and time with your partner and putting your phone down and all that stuff. But if you have unhealed trauma that's going to get in the way, right.? In many areas of your life. And so I'm just, you're making me so happy. I could cry. I just want to [crosstalk 00:17:59]-

    Dr. Anna:
    Well and it's not just sexual trauma, right?

    Lisa:
    Yes, of course.

    Dr. Anna:
    We are in sync and it's not sexual trauma only, right? That's just a part of it. My experience was post-traumatic stress leading to a disconnect in my marriage. I no longer felt loved. I no longer felt connected and this marriage we wanted to last no matter, through our trauma, through everything, we still ended up in divorce and it was that feeling, I do not feel love. I do not feel connected and how and what other ways can I feel connected? What other ways can I feel the love? What was wrong with the physiology? And I write about that. That's chapter eight in my book and that's pretty honest and I mean it's really honest and of course, I could elaborate in a much bigger way, but I think that's where this inner bonding like I had to begin to love myself. I had to stop shaming, blaming myself, and reframe my experiences in a positive self-loving way. So that inner bonding, let's walk through just a couple of the steps. What have you found that's been so impactful? I'm not familiar with her work, Margaret Paul. But I am-

    Lisa:
    Read everything, go online and just type in Margaret Paul. She is just so incredible. I absolutely love her. I have to be honest with folks, there's so much in the book, I don't have them memorized, but I'll go through them with you when I've done my work with her and around working with her, and you can work with her by way. I mean she's phenomenal. I mean she's just made such a difference in my sister's life and she's really helped me as well. I think she's pretty phenomenal. I also talk about resentment in that chapter as well.

    Dr. Anna:
    That's a big one. That is such a big one. I like it here you say, "Margaret told me when we're being neglected or abused, we're all alone" ... I've got to put my glasses on.

    Lisa:
    Oh sure. And I've got to keep mine on. My eyesight, after 50 it's like, "Where is everybody?"

    Dr. Anna:
    Right, like, "What?" So, "When we're being neglected or abused, we're all alone and we're helpless and there's nothing we can do. The pain is too much for a child to manage alone. What happens during child abuse of all kinds is that most of the time a child learns to disassociate. They leave their body or go up into their head as a coping mechanism. It's actually a very good coping mechanism, but it creates a pattern of dissociating from feelings. In order to stay in our heads and away from painful feelings, we learn to judge ourselves to turn to various addictions and make other people responsible for our feelings. The self-abandoning and self-rejecting behaviors perpetuate the disconnection that happened during the abuse." So we have this wound itself versus the loving self and oftentimes this abuse.

    Dr. Anna:
    I know from my experience, I'll be honest with you Lisa, it stems from I grew up Catholic Christian. I definitely loved my ... I was 100% feminine, loved having friends, opposite sex, dating. But I was a virgin, I was a virgin, intending to be a virgin until I really connected in love with my future husband. Right? So at nearly age 21, I experienced date rape and that was a really traumatic experience for me and it opened a door to compensatory behavior that I can now discuss and open up about. And recognize how really sometimes date sex, date rape, sexual abuse opens up a door to like, "Okay, well how could someone do that to me? Am I not loving or let me just prove, or that I can be loving." I'm not exactly sure, but there's a personal physical boundary that's eliminated during that interaction, that exposure. All of a sudden your body is not yours. You're now outside your body. Okay, well what you do to my body doesn't really affect me. And it's this subconscious. It's not even conscious.

    Dr. Anna:
    As I experienced it then went on to study women's health, women's sexual health, being very passionate about really explaining this to others that have experienced these kinds of trauma. We actually now created and founded a home for girls who have been sex trafficked and we do a Christian rehab, EMDR work. We do trauma work, education, schooling. It's for girls age 12 to 18. So there's a lot of relearning, but just speaking about these experiences and being able to relate in certain ways that there's not something wrong with you. You're not evil, you're not bad, you're not whatever. You're doing the best, you know how to do to survive. And often its corrective physiology in a way.

    Dr. Anna:
    So these steps to this freedom are really transformative and necessary. I think whether we've had a sexual assault or not. I mean, I want everyone to read this aspect of your, this part, all of your book. I mean, it's so much fun. It's really good. You're right on target. But definitely this part of your book too because I'm going to bring it up in my magic menopause class too. We'll talk about that.

    Lisa:
    Oh, I'm so glad. Oh, well you should get Margaret on your show. I can connect you two.

    Dr. Anna:
    Oh, I'm just bringing you on my show, girl. We're going to keep the conversation open.

    Lisa:
    Yeah, she's fun.

    Dr. Anna:
    Which is fantastic.

    Lisa:
    Do you want me to go through the steps? Do you want, I mean, people go-

    Dr. Anna:
    Yeah. Yeah.

    Lisa:
    Okay.

    Dr. Anna:
    Yeah, let's go through a couple-

    Lisa:
    Step one is the willingness to feel pain and take responsibility for your feelings. In this step, you make a conscious decision that you want to take responsibility for your feelings and for learning how you are causing your own anxiety, depression, anger, guilt and shame with your own thoughts and actions. And that can be hard sometimes, right? Because you want to blame the person that hurt you, right? And I don't think she's saying not to, but at the same time, you have to look within yourself.

    Lisa:
    Step two is moving into the intent to learn. Invite the compassionate presence of love, your higher self, God, compassion into your heart and choose to be in the intent to learn about loving yourself rather than the intent to protect yourself from pain. So I think a lot of things that I did sleeping around and just not really dealing with stuff was not dealing with things that happened in my childhood and the different trauma that I went through. Instead of stopping and just loving yourself, right? It's like you're running away because it's hard not to. I mean there's a lot of stuff. I mean, I've done a lot of therapy. I still struggle with the attention-seeking at times and which I'm very open about.

    Lisa:
    Step three, ask your inner child questions such as, what am I telling myself that is causing this pain? And ask your wounded self questions such as what am I avoiding feeling with my protected controlling behavior? As you listen in decipher your answers, you uncover the false beliefs created in the past and which are causing the current self-abandonment. I think that's so interesting because I never really thought about, wow not only if you were abused, you're abandoned, then you're abandoned again by yourself. Right? So how to get back in touch with yourself. She's just fabulous.

    Dr. Anna:
    Wow. Wow, that's powerful because I would never put those two words together. Self-abandonment right. But I can totally see it. I can see how it played out in my own life. Right? Again, if we put words to it. The eyes don't see what the mind don't know. So as long as we can just look and investigate. Okay. Well, maybe that's what was happening. That's a survival mechanism, but it doesn't serve us. It no longer serves us.

    Lisa:
    Yes, exactly. Step four, you ask your source of love, whatever that is for you, what is the truth about the thoughts, false beliefs uncovered in step three? And what is loving for me to do in this situation? What is kind to myself? You open it, allow the answers to come through you in words, pictures or feelings. In step five you take ... I love this word or this phrase ... loving action based on the information that came through your guidance in step four. Over time, loving actions heal the shame, anxiety, and depression that resulted from your self-abandonment. And in step six you evaluate if the loving action was effective. It's just, it's really, really intense and it's something that you can do on your own, right? You get her work, read my book, get more about her. Go on YouTube, look her up, Dr. Margaret Paul. But then it's great if you want to see her, but you can also do this work on your own, which I like.

    Lisa:
    That's what I try to do with the whole book is to provide enough information where people can say, "Oh, okay, I love how Dr. [inaudible 00:26:25] said, find your way. And I loved how Beth Frates, MD, who's a lifestyle medicine doctor, physician and teaches at Harvard, talked about does this MOSS method, motivation, and obstacles, overcoming obstacles and strategies. And I love how Andrea Donsky talked about her own issue. She said ... I do a show with her Naturally Savvy, which you're going to come on. And found out what was ailing her and was able to make changes and then became a nutritionist, to help other people. It's just so interesting to see.

    Dr. Anna:
    Yeah, and you do a great job in sharing those stories. I think that's really powerful. So these are the six steps to inner freedom so that we can create this inner bonding, right, that sense of self-love and no longer self-abandonment but self-actualization. So and again, self-love, self-connection, connecting to ourselves and being able to say, "Oh wow, well I can see that." Right? And Oprah says this really well. Trauma is an explanation, but it's not an excuse, right? Trauma is an explanation, but it's not an excuse. So move on, move forward. And the act of forgiveness is self-love. The act of forgiving is self-love and forgiveness does not mean reconciliation.

    Dr. Anna:
    So those are my favorite soundbites of all time. I've had to run those mantras through my head for numerous, numerous times for sure. Tell everyone where they can get your book Clean Eating, Dirty Sex. And I want everyone, listen, guys, this book needs to be in your bookshelf. This is just, it's just great stuff. There are golden nuggets. It's an easy read. It's a quick read, right? Just so many gold nuggets and the way you did it with the expert interviews and your interjections, it's really, really well done. So.

    Lisa:
    Thank you so much. Also, don't forget there are over 50 recipes. Erin MacDonald, she is the nutritionist, dietician for Clean Eating Magazine. She runs the Clean Eating Academy and that woman has a way with spices. I told her what foods are scientifically shown to be good for sexual health and she whipped up some incredible recipes. This is what the book looks like. I thought it was really clever. It's through Skyhorse Publishing. You can find it your local health store.

    Dr. Anna:
    Wait. Hold that up again. I just, because I have the electronic version. That is hysterical.

    Lisa:
    Isn't that fun.

    Dr. Anna:
    I love it. I love it. That's fun. That is fun.

    Lisa:
    It's not dirty. But you can get it at your local bookstore. Skyhorse is really good about getting books in bookstores but you can also get it on Barnes & Noble, Amazon or wherever you buy books and I have a new website that I'd love to plug. I made it nice and easy. My old ones always too long. This is just lisadavismph.com

    Dr. Anna:
    Perfect. Perfect. All right. Lisadavismph.com. Easy.

    Lisa:
    This went by in like a second.

    Dr. Anna:
    I know.

    Lisa:
    I could tell to you to forever.

    Dr. Anna:
    I could talk to you forever. Absolutely.

    Lisa:
    We need to do more things together definitely.

    Dr. Anna:
    We do. I see that happening. Definitely. So I want to thank you so much and honor you for your time and being with us today and sharing your wisdom with our audience and your book and your pearls and I'm excited to continue the conversation. I'm sure for our listeners, I want to encourage each and every one of you, I know this is an episode that we've touched on some really heated stuff here, so if you have questions, email me. Email my team team@drannacabeca.com, email us or put comments down below this here on my podcast page and share what you're experiencing or what your thoughts are.

    Dr. Anna:
    I want to hear from you because I'm going to bring Lisa back and we're going to continue to delve in this subject, because we have so much that we need to open up and connect with and our relationships are the most important thing in our life and anything holding us back from that quality, soulmate connection and relationship and not just with the person that we love but our soulmate families, right? Our families by choice and our families by birth. And like how are those relationships in our life? And I want them to be golden. I say because of the work that I've done over the years and just a holding true to a healthy, strong foundation, I have the best relationships now than I've ever had in my entire life. And it's important that we get there.

    Dr. Anna:
    I know that so many women and men struggle with that piece of connection, reconnection, open, honest communication. But when we have that, the love can just erupt from that and self-love, self-adoration as opposed to self-abandonment. We want to get to that state in all of our lives so that also we can lead our next generations up to be in that same space without the many gears, trauma, denial, and recriminations that often occurs. So to everyone listening, be bold, brave, beautiful. It is great to have you on Couch Talk. Please, let me hear your thoughts below and we'll be back again next week. Thank you.

    Dr. Anna Cabeca

    Dr. Anna Cabeca

    Dr. Anna is a Triple Board Certified OB/GYN, Anti-Aging Medicine expert, and author of the best selling book, The Hormone Fix.

    Dr. Anna helps women heal the 9 most dreadful symptoms of menopause with natural, safe solutions. Follow her for content on hormonal imbalances, vaginal dryness, menopause (and more) that are medically backed, and created to empower women — not just treat them.