Let me be brutally honest with you: you are NOT too old to have great sex. This idea that women past a certain age can no longer experience desire, pleasure, and connection is outdated, ageist nonsense.
I get questions all the time that go something like: “Can a 50-year-old woman be sexually active?” Which tells me that I still have a lot of work to do when it comes to educating about menopause and sexual health.
Because the answer is absolutely, unequivocally yes. Not only can you be sexually active, but you might be surprised to discover that your most fulfilling intimate experiences are still ahead of you.
I'm here to demolish the myths that have convinced women their sexual prime ends with menopause. Because the reality is, many women tell a completely different story — one where wisdom meets desire, where experience trumps youth, and where your body's changes become gateways to deeper pleasure, not barriers to it.
Let’s blow these horrible myths right out of the water, shall we?
Let's start by calling out the lies that have been masquerading as facts:
FICTION:
"Your sex drive disappears after menopause."
FACT:
Research from the Seattle Midlife Women's Health Study shows that while many women experience changes in sexual desire during menopause, the experience varies significantly among individuals. Some women experience decreased desire, while others notice no change or even increased interest in sex after menopause. (1)
FICTION:
"Physical changes make satisfying sex impossible."
FACT:
While menopause does bring physical changes that can affect sexual comfort, these challenges may respond well to treatment. Women who actively address menopausal symptoms can often maintain satisfying sexual relationships with appropriate care and solutions.
FICTION:
"You're invisible and undesirable now."
FACT:
I know we’ve gotten the message time and time again that older women are undesirable. Studies show it’s one of the big insecurities many of us face. (2,3) But let’s think about this for a minute.
What do sexy, gorgeous women like Halle Berry, Jennifer Lopez, and Salma Hayek all have in common? They’re over 50! Elizabeth Hurley, Michelle Pfeiffer, and Demi Moore? They’re all over 60!
Let’s stop putting an age limit on what’s desirable and take back our confidence, Girlfriend. Because desirability isn't about your age, your weight, or how perky your breasts are — it's about your energy, confidence, and connection with yourself. You are firmly in control of all of those things.
Want to completely revolutionize your menopause experience, build your confidence, and start a more positive relationship with your body image, too? Click here to get on the waitlist for Magic Menopause, my signature 8-week course that helps you get back to YOU.
Key Things That Affect Sex After 50
Deciding that you’re going to embrace your sexuality and work on your relationship with yourself is part of the equation, sure. But there are a few physiological things you can leverage that can make this time in your life a more sexual one, if that’s what you want.
1. EXPERIENCE
The more experience you have, the more confident you become — at pretty much anything, right?
Sexual activity after 50 is no different. This is the time in your life to leverage what you’ve learned — about what you like, what your partner likes, and how to communicate all of it more effectively.
Once you start to take control of your sex life, it only gets better and better.
2. TESTOSTERONE
While estrogen decreases during menopause, testosterone's relative influence can increase.
Use this situation to your advantage! Testosterone could help lead you straight toward increased sexual assertiveness, arousal, and a refreshing focus on your own pleasure rather than just your partner's.
3. BRAIN CHANGES
Many women experience a kind of “rewiring” of their brains during menopause. While this can lead to brain fog, anxiety, and depression, these struggles are usually temporary, as your brain finds its “new normal” after menopause.
And what’s interesting is that there may be a connection between sexual desire and memory recall after menopause. (4) Which is all the more reason to keep your sex life on the front burner, and keep tending that fire.
Real Barriers To Sexual Desire After 50
Yes, menopause brings physical changes. But these changes don’t have to be a sexual death sentence. Let’s talk about a few.
Vaginal Changes
Yes, there’s no denying that decreased estrogen can often cause vaginal dryness and tissue thinning.
But vaginal moisturizers, high-quality lubricants, and localized hormone therapy can help restore comfort and pleasure.
In fact, some women discover that addressing these changes leads to better sex than they had in their 30s because they are finally prioritizing their own needs and comfort.
Hormonal Shifts
Yes, your hormones are shifting. But many women find that bioidentical hormone therapy, proper adrenal support, and simple lifestyle changes like walking more help them feel energized and interested in intimacy again.
Energy and Sleep
Menopause can affect sleep and energy patterns. But this creates opportunities to explore new rhythms of intimacy. Maybe you discover that morning intimacy works better than nighttime. Maybe you find the challenge of getting into the mood sparks some new ideas, new things to explore, and new levels of connection.
That’s one of the great things about menopause. Yes, it requires change. But when we learn to embrace change, there are often so many big, beautiful things to enjoy on the other side.
The Confidence Revolution Happening Right Now
Here's the most exciting part: across the country, women over 50 are experiencing what I like to call a "sexual renaissance." They're not just maintaining their sex lives — they're revolutionizing them.
Think about it, once you’re in your menopause era, you get:
FREEDOM:
No more worrying about pregnancy. No more feeling like you have to look perfect or perform perfectly. You get to discover what actually feels good to you, without the pressure of meeting anyone else's expectations.
SELF-ADVOCACY:
Women over 50 are more likely to speak up about their needs, set boundaries, and prioritize their own pleasure. You’re also more likely to seek medical help for sexual concerns instead of suffering in silence.
RELATIONSHIP DEPTH:
If you're partnered, you have the gift of deep intimacy and trust built over years. If you're single, you have the wisdom to know what you want and the confidence to communicate it clearly.
Your Action Plan for Sexual Empowerment
REFRAME YOUR MINDSET:
Every time you catch yourself thinking you're "too old" for desire, pleasure, or passion, stop and ask: "According to who?" Then replace that thought with scientific truth: "I am a woman in my sexual prime — experienced, confident, and deserving of pleasure."
INVEST IN YOUR SEXUAL HEALTH:
Schedule that gynecological appointment you've been putting off. Discuss sexual health openly with your healthcare provider. Don't accept "it's just menopause" as an answer if you're experiencing discomfort or decreased satisfaction. That’s not a diagnosis, and if your provider won’t work with you, find a new one.
EXPLORE MODERN SOLUTIONS:
From premium lubricants to hormone therapy to pelvic floor physiotherapy, there are more options than ever to support your sexual comfort and pleasure. You deserve to feel good in your body.
COMMUNICATE WITH CONFIDENCE:
Whether with a long-term partner or someone new, clear communication about your needs and desires is essential. You're not asking for too much; you're asking for what you deserve.
EXPAND YOUR DEFINITION OF GREAT SEX:
Intimacy isn't just about penetration. It's about connection, pleasure, touch, and feeling alive in your body. Explore what that means for you at this stage of your life.
Your Sexual Story Is Far From Over
The question was never whether a 50-year-old woman can be sexually active. The real question is: Will you let outdated myths steal your pleasure and confidence?
Women over 50, 60, 70, and yes, even 80 or 90, can and do have fulfilling, passionate sex lives. Many report it's the best sex of their lives because they've stopped performing sexuality and started truly living it.
Your body has carried you through decades of experiences — births, losses, celebrations, challenges. It deserves pleasure, care, and celebration, not retirement. Your desires matter. Your pleasure matters. You matter.
So here's my challenge to you: the next time someone suggests (or you think to yourself) that you're "too old" for great sex, connection, or confidence, remember this.
Remember that your pleasure doesn't have an expiration date. Your desire doesn't have to diminish with age. Your best intimate experiences might still be ahead of you.
Don’t be afraid to go after them and enjoy with abandon!
Disclaimer: This content is for informational and educational purposes only and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. Statements about dietary supplements or cosmetic products have not been evaluated by the FDA. Please consult your healthcare provider before beginning any new health or wellness regimen.
