Real Talk: Intimate Questions Women Over 40 Are Too

In This Article, You Will Learn:

1. Whether you really need to shower after sex

2. Why your underwear might be getting bleached

3. What vaginal smells are normal — and what’s not

4. When sex is safe after childbirth

5. If sex can really induce labor (and how)

Let’s face it: There are some things we wonder about that we’re too shy to ask — even our doctors. But just because it’s awkward doesn’t mean it’s not important.

This is your safe space to get honest, no-shame answers from The Girlfriend Doctor. Because you deserve to know what’s going on with your body — and how to feel confident in it.

"If it feels weird, smells different, or leaves you confused — you’re not alone. Let’s talk about it."

The short answer: No, but it helps.

You don’t have to shower immediately after sex, but cleansing the external vulvar area with warm water can help reduce irritation, maintain pH balance, and support urinary tract health.

Avoid soap inside the vagina — it’s self-cleaning — and opt for breathable underwear post-intimacy.

Why Is My Underwear Getting Bleached?

You’re not imagining it. Many women notice a bleached or faded spot in their underwear where it contacts vaginal discharge.

This is due to the natural acidity of vaginal secretions — especially when estrogen levels shift during perimenopause and menopause. It’s typically normal unless accompanied by itching, odor, or irritation.

Pro tip: Cotton undies and pH-balancing support like Julva® can help maintain comfort.

What Should My Vagina Actually Smell Like?

A healthy vagina has a mild, musky scent — and that can fluctuate during your cycle, after sex, or with hormonal shifts.

Strong fishy, metallic, or sour odors may indicate a pH imbalance or infection (like BV or yeast). If odor is persistent, check with your provider.

Supporting your vaginal microbiome with good hygiene, proper hydration, and hormone balance can help.

When Is It Safe to Have Sex After Childbirth?

Typically, OBs recommend waiting 4 to 6 weeks post-delivery — or until bleeding stops and tissues have begun to heal.

That said, every woman’s recovery is different. If you’re still sore, anxious, or experiencing dryness, give yourself more time and consider using a gentle, hormone-supportive lubricant like Julva®.

And yes, intimacy can feel amazing again — with the right care and patience.

Yes — in some cases.

Sex can trigger labor by:

1. Stimulating the release of oxytocin, which promotes uterine contractions

2. Semen contains prostaglandins, which help soften the cervix

3. Orgasm alone can sometimes bring on contractions

While it’s not guaranteed, many midwives and OBs encourage sex in the final weeks if medically appropriate.

Always check with your provider first, especially if you’re high-risk.

You’re Not Gross — You’re Glorious

Your body is brilliant, and your questions are valid.

Whether you’re noticing new smells, feeling unsure about intimacy, or confused about discharge, know this: You are not alone. You are not broken. And you are not too late.